Slim Bug Killa

Several years ago, while attending a conference of some sort, I stopped by a table peddling their pest control skills.  I didn't stop because I needed their service, instead I wanted....needed in fact, the extra large fake roach.  As I drove home from Phoenix I laughed maniacally as I thought about the pranks we would play.  And we did!  The faux roach was carefully placed on toilet seats, pillow tops, and in cereal bowls to name a few.  There's a well known phrase that says everything is bigger in Texas.  Roaches are not exempt.

Our sleep schedules are a mess.  Naysia sleeps all day and stays up all night.  Vice versa for me.  I'm typically in bed by 10, with the door open.  My little night owl is usually great about trying to keep it down, but once in awhile I can hear the microwave beep about 2am, or her giggling while she looks at God knows what online. 

I was startled, disoriented, and angry when the phone rang at 230am and it was Naysia calling.  My first thought was she sneaked out of the house and was stuck somewhere.  I answered the phone:
Me: What's wrong
Nays: Mom, come here!
Me: What?! Where are you?
Nays: In my room, come here!
Me: WHAT?! WHY?
Nays: JUST COME HERE!!!

As I opened my bedroom door she was standing there.  

Me: (yelling) What Is Wrong?
Nays: Go look in my bathroom
Me: Why? (still yelling)
Nays: Go look in my bathroom

I ain't gonna lie...I was mad as I stood in her bathroom looking in the sink at a roach that was at least 6 feet tall!  Seriously, this put our extra large fake roach to shame.  It was on it's back, doing the "help me twirl" they all do.  What I knew was that Naysia wasn't just calling me to admire its girth, but to remove it like I usually do. In my bed hair, nightgown and mismatched socks, I refused.  

Me:  I'm not doing it
Nays: Why not?
Me: Because.  I do it all the time
Roach: Twirling in the sink
Nays: Mom, please?  I'll give you $5
Me: No, what's gonna happen when you grow up and live on your own?
Nays: (tears in her eyes) Please don't make me
Me: I'm going back to bed
Nays: Fine, stay with me please...where's the bug spray

The show was hilarious.  She suited up in a hoodie and work out pants.  She stood at least 2 feet away from the sink and sprayed bug killer all over the place.  The roach, indestructible, continued to twirl in the sink.  I remained a spectator as she ditched the spray and began throwing paper towels in the sink to cover it up.  She strategically placed the garbage can near the sink and tried to figure out how to grab the roach without seeing it or actually touching it. I was laughing so hard I cried as she shrieked and jumped. 

I remembered having a reacher/grabber tool tucked away.  She used it to slide the mountain of paper towels out of the sink and into the trashcan.  And wouldn't you know it, the roach fell out!!  We both screamed and broke out in laughter again.  It had been disabled and couldn't get away.  She repeated the process with the towels and she eventually got it in the garbage.  

By the time the adventured ended we had music playing, eaten a snack, scrubbed her bathroom free of pesticides, a thunderstorm met us as we went to the dumpster, had a photo shoot and Naysia gained a new name, Slim Bug Killa.