Perhaps the plan began when we moved here. Maybe it was set in motion the night we did a mock interview. Or could it have been even bigger than that and started the day she was born! Regardless of the time, the place or the catalyst...our Season has come to an end.
Summer 2012. Ya'll remember that summer? I recall standing in LAX frantically looking for a place to hide my face so I could cry. I had just given permission--and paid for--my daughter to go to South Korea. I was so proud of her hunger for a new language and new experiences. But I couldn't believe I let her go.
As challenging as Summer 2012 was, here we are again, bidding farewells Probably not as dramatic seeing as I know where she is, who she's with, and can call or text her whenever I please. Nonetheless, it stirs up an unlimited amount of emotions inside of me. The truth is I've never really been alone. The one time I lived alone for 2 months, I was pregnant with Naysia....so does it even count?
We've been in San Antonio for 2 years. Although she's managed to make friends, hold down a job and enjoy her life--her heart (and her love) are in Tucson. Thanks be to social media she witnesses her friends living life together. She hears about family gatherings, longed to personally view breathtaking Arizona sunsets and of course missed Brandon. She wanted to go home.
Like the South Korea experience, I initially thought it was a fleeting desire. But as days, weeks, and months went by she made it clear that she was branching out. She grabbed a hold of freedom and declared her plan to return to her mother-state
I thought I was ready. I made elaborate arrangements for us to experience the state of Texas like never before. She refused. All she wanted was to stay home. She was desperate for long nights filled with Netflix binges, UberEats, and afternoons that consisted of us chasing each other around the house and wrestling like days of old.
December 1st friends gathered for a going away party and on departure eve we went out for a lovely dinner and to the theatre for Phantom of the Opera. Our road trip with fraught with all of our least favorite things (misty rain, fog, sleeping in the car, car problems, and a 2 hr stall on the side of the road) but we made it to Tucson safely.
Just after midnight on December 11th, we stood in my mom's driveway on 28th street. The breeze was light, cool, and heavy all at the same time. She held on to me tightly. I reciprocated. I whispered how much I loved her and how much I was going to miss her and she did the same. We cried together and then she drove away.
Naysia has defined who I’ve been for the last 21 years. This time around I didn't look for a place to hide my face. I cried in my mom's front yard.....on the shuttle....in the airport...during the flight...in the Las Palapas drive thru....and while I ate chicken enchiladas.
I’m going to miss seeing her beautiful face everyday. I’m going to miss her snarky responses. I'm going to miss her popping the pimples on my back and telling me how ridiculous my makeup looks. I’m going to miss the mess she leaves in the living room every night. And I’m going to miss the occasional batch of chicken Alfredo she whips up.
It’s quite possible that the move from Tucson to San Antonio was designed for this specific moment in time. A new chapter has busted wide open for me! As I sat on the extremely turbulent ride home, I realized I am blessed to be returning to a city I enjoy, a home I call my own, a good job and great friends.
The very thought of being away from her pains me. But—there’s no better place for her to be. My prayer is that as she has returned to our hometown that she will have 10,000 new experiences! I pray for her safety and her prosperity and her spirit and her happiness!
If you, my fellow Arizonans, see her in the streets, please show her some love-welcome her home and give her a squeeze from me.
"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare"
Psalm 40:5
Please keep us in your prayers that we'll both succeed in our new endeavors.
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